“My dad says your house is on wheels.”
One of our first guests after we moved into our new home was Eva, one of Maia’s good friends. She looked up at me with those big black eyes, and uttered those words completely straight-faced, like she was telling me two plus two equals four.
“Yes, Eva,” I said with a smile and a little laughter, “your dad is right.”
That night, I told Joe about our interaction. He sat on the edge of the bed and laughed, “I actually took the wheels off, but she’s right.”
Eva was six at the time. And that age, there’s no judgment. There were no beliefs about our home being too small or being too impermanent. No comments about it not being a real house. Just, “…your house is on wheels.” It was factual. And that was all.
The desires had been there, but the beliefs, the judgments about how life is supposed to go play their part.
I remember Joe and I meeting with our first mortgage broker. After going over our paperwork, she told us how much house we could afford, and concluded with, “…and you’re both educated and gainfully employed, so we can believe your incomes will continue to rise.” We can believe. That is how it works. You graduate, you get the job, your income continues to rise. And the belief that will make us happy.
It can be scary when you realize what you want doesn’t fit in the algorithm. It can be scary to know that if you follow your heart, your income may not continue to rise. The figuring out of how to live on less to gain more of what you want. To give up 2000 square feet. To give up the company car. To give up the belief and judgment about what that will be like. How will we live? Can we afford it? Can we do it?
The story plays out in your mind. All of the what if’s and how can’s – and then comes the realization. The story in your mind is just that – a story. We can decide. We can create our own algorithm. And what was in the space where the story was is now just room. Room to fill with whatever we desire. As my cousin told me, “Now the Universe can fill that space with whatever you desire. Be creative, dream big.”
I learned a lot from Eva that day. That our trailer was just that – a trailer. We could make it, and our life out here, whatever we wanted. And we made it our home.
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